Self-Counselling

This is a section which I hope may help others going through baby loss. Here I share some of the exercises I created to counsel myself.

This was never meant to be seen. This was written to myself, for myself. But I’m posting these here, in the sincere hope that these may well help someone else.

Though these pages look neat, the process was not. Each entry left me raw, emotionally spent. It still hurts me to read them, but getting it all out of my head and onto paper helped somehow.

I hope it helps you too. I really do.

Exercise 1: Look at photos of your baby. List how it makes you feel looking at him/her.

“Anger… I try so hard to be good”

Exercise 2: Make some lists. What are you proud about, guilty about, what would you do differently? 

“Guilty… about laughing, good days”

Exercise 3: What are your physical observations about your baby? Who does he or she most resemble?

“She had a forehead, unlike mummy”

Exercise 4: You’ve been through your worst case scenario, but are there any things that went better than expected?

“Labour wasn’t as bad as expected”

Exercise 5: “You did the best for your baby” – someone said this to me and I wasn’t sure if I did. Make a list, prove it to yourself.  

“I protected her, even when I knew she wouldn’t last”

Exercise 6: Did you get to meet your baby? List the positives and negatives of being able to do so. 

“Knowing I’ve lost a daughter”

Exercise 7: List all the reasons why your baby was the BEST baby that there ever was. 

“She was my karaoke buddy”

Exercise 8: You’re not just grieving your baby. List and write about all of the things you’ve lost alongside him/her. 

“Grieving… future pregnancies”

This is just a small selection of my personal work and grieving process. If you would like to see or discuss some more, please get in touch via the Contact page.

Anjulie