Dream (verb): Indulge in daydreams or fantasies about something greatly desired We used to have these huge end-of-year parties at university, I’m talking HUGE. Hundreds of thousands of pounds spent on one-off all-night balls. It was the posh university equivalent …
Winter
Ripe (adjective): Having arrived at the fitting stage or time for a particular action or purpose On the 1st December, as we enter a new season, it seems fitting to pause and take stock, particularly since this is my 100thMumoirs …
“They Will Help Us Now”
Anniversary (noun): The date on which an event took place Today is one year since we found out that was I pregnant with Summer. We had just got back from a super active holiday in Jordan (well, James and I …
The Lioness
Well-adjusted (adjective, of a person): Mentally and emotionally stable My grief sits so close to the surface, still so close to every other emotion. It may always feel raw. Yesterday I was humming and bopping along to some music, and …
Beyond Reasonable Doubt
Guilty (adjective): Justly chargeable with a particular fault or error Opening Statement I write because it helps me to process all my feelings, to assess what’s really wrong. Yesterday, I felt so low, I didn’t even want to write. That’s …
Easier Said Than Run
Stamina (noun): The ability to sustain prolonged physical or mental effort If you asked me whether I’d prefer to run 10 kilometres, or to run one 5 minute kilometre, I would opt for the first one (I just hope James …
Unlearning
Reframe (verb): To express words or a concept differently I’m a good student, pretty well suited for written exams, but I am (James can verify this) so terrible at unlearning things. That doesn’t mean that I remember everything, rather that …
The Invisible Line
The Norm (noun): Something that is usual, typical, or standard It’s just occurred to me, that there’s a very definite line. There’s a point at which society is comfortable and accepting of bereaved parents, but where is it? Let me …
Labels
Taboo (adjective): A subject prohibited or restricted by social custom Some labels you can’t choose: I’m female, I’m in my 30’s, I’m of Indian origin. Some you can: I work in the City of London, I love to travel. Some …
Agony
Torture (verb): The action or practice of inflicting severe pain on someone as a punishment In my processing grief journal, I wrote that losing a child is torture. What I didn’t notice is how so much of it is self-inflicted. …