My Musings


Double standard (noun): A rule or principle which is unfairly applied in different ways to different people or groups

1) It’s rude to point, but it’s ok to point out that a person doesn’t want/have kids.

2) It’s rude to talk about someone’s sex life, but it’s ok to ask when they plan to have children.

3) It’s rude to ask personal questions, but it’s ok to share that “I got pregnant first time!”

4) It’s rude to say people are too fat (or their bump’s too big), but it’s ok to say they’re too thin (or bump’s too small).

5) It’s rude to ignore a message, but it’s ok to ignore a miscarriage.

6) It’s rude to judge other people’s family set-ups, but it’s ok to comment on someone having more than three children.

7) It’s rude to say that someone caused their miscarriage, but it’s ok to imply that they might have.

8) It’s rude to judge a mum/homemaker, but it’s ok to assume that someone is a selfish career woman.

9) It’s rude not to eat everything on your plate, but it’s ok to put more on others’.

10) It’s rude to single someone out as being single/childless, but it’s ok to assume they’ll cover all the work shifts during school and Christmas holidays.

11) It’s rude to arrive late, but it’s ok to not acknowledge a baby if it dies/arrives early.

12) It’s rude to address a person as “she”, but it’s ok to not use a dead baby’s name.

13) It’s rude to take things for granted, but it’s ok to assume “she likes doing these things” for you.

14) It’s rude to forget to say thank you, but it’s ok to do as you please.

15) It’s rude to talk with your mouth full, but it’s ok to chat sh1t.

Who makes these rules, man? Worse, why do we have to accept them? In case I haven’t make it abundantly clear, NONE of these things are ok. It’s ALL so rude.

P.S. Yeah yeah, I totally have double standards too, but my blog, my rules. Hey, I don’t make the rules, I just follow them: don’t hate the blogger, hate this particular blog. It’s just the way things are, how they’ve always been, some things we just can’t change, it’s the way of the world… #duth (“dumb truth”)

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(1) Comment

  1. Basically, it’s socially acceptable to say whatever you like to women, isn’t it? People judge you for having no kids (‘selfish career woman’) or too many kids (‘selfish stay at home mother’). They pity you for miscarriages (‘poor her, so sad’) but don’t want to actually hear the details (‘too much information, bad luck, 1 in 4, c’est la vie’). They hate on you for outsourcing childcare (‘why did she (n.b. never ‘they’) even have children?’) and for trying to ‘have it all’.

    This reflects and is part of a wider misogyny, and women are equally culpable. Women are judged for their figures, clothes, job, attitude, bank balance. It’s especially hurtful when the add-on is baby loss. People are just rude!

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