Number two (urban dictionary): To poop or defecate
We’ve been away on holiday recently, which is why I’ve blogged a lot less, but I’ve had so many baby loss related thoughts. The return to the real world will do that to you.
So where to start? Perhaps near the beginning, one weekend afternoon in the pub. It was lunchtime and we ended up being sat next to a famous person and his pregnant wife. I shouldn’t have googled them afterwards:
Current age 34
Married in 2019
Baby due 2021
Here are our stats:
Current age 35
Married in 2012
Baby due… Lord knows when
I know, I know! I shouldn’t compare, but it’s always the maths that gets me. Actually more specifically, it’s the number two, that bugs me now. Because what’s worse than the couple that’s getting their first baby? The one that’s getting their second.
I appreciate that this may sound bitter, but humour me:
One upon a time, there was a couple.
They decided they wanted to have a baby.
So nine or so lovely months later, they did.
They watched their little baby grow.
And they really, really enjoyed it.
Many months later, another thought was born:
“Should we have another baby?”
Umm, ahh, yeah, ok, let’s!
Some more time passed, over nine months.
And then along came number two!
Two. I keep thinking two. We should be pregnant too. But we’ve had something entirely different to get used to.
Et tu, Brute?
I can’t stop thinking about how much has happened in the time that we haven’t even had one full-term baby. All of the real life scenarios. It’s a joke. Except jokes are meant to be funny. Ahh, the joke’s on us? Got it.
Pregnancy 1: BoC (pronounced “Bock”)
- We miscarried. The next week, you got pregnant. You’re now expecting number two
- We miscarried. The next day you announced you were pregnant. You’re now planning number two
- We had the same due date. We miscarried. You’re now expecting number two
- You had a baby. We attended the christening. We were trying for a baby. You’ve now had baby number two
- You had a baby. We attended the christening. I was pregnant. I miscarried. You’ve now had baby number two
Pregnancy 2: My Baby
- You announced you were 12 weeks, we were two weeks behind. We miscarried. You had baby number two (a boy)
- You announced you were 12 weeks, we were two weeks behind. We miscarried. You had baby number two (a girl)
Pregnancy 3: Summer
- We had a similar due date. We had our third miscarriage. You gave birth to number two
- You’re planning for number two
- You’re expecting number two
- You’ve had number two
The whole country said: “it’s coming home, it’s our turn!” And then it didn’t. A collective glimmer of the disappointment that’s felt from hoping, wishing, expecting. Then again, that’s been 55 years, hasn’t it? Perhaps I’m asking too much (!)
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