Words (song lyrics, Bee Gees): It’s only words and words are all I have
There are no words? Yeah there are, lots of them. Lots of existing ones and lots of new ones popping up, all the time, too. So here’s a list of those I’ve stumbled upon – across languages, cultures, acronyms and etymology – that, for me, sum up the world of recurrent baby loss.
(FYI: clicking on the sentences in pink, will take you to previous blogs whose topics are in keeping with the words and definitions stated)
Aftersome (adjective): Astonished to think back on the bizarre sequence of events that brought you to where you are today
Agnosthesia (noun): The state of not knowing how you really feel about something, which forces you to sift through clues hidden in your behaviour
Anemoia (noun): Nostalgia for a time you never knew (the good old, parallel universe)
The Standard Blues (phrase): The sad awareness that the unfolding plot of your life feels new and profound, but is not unique
Catoptric Tristesse (noun) The sadness that you’ll never really know what other people think of you, whether good, bad, or if at all
Drapetomania (noun): The overwhelming urge to run away
Exulansis (noun): The tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate
Flashover (noun): The moment a conversation becomes real and alive
Gluckschmerz (German): Feeling pain at the good fortune of others
Hiraeth (Welsh): The feeling of longing for a home that never was. A deep irrational bond felt with a time, era, place or person
IFKYK (acronym): “If You Know, You Know”
Jouska (noun): A hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head
Kakorrhaphiophobia (noun): Fear of failure and so the inability to attempt any goal that is not a guaranteed success
Liberosis: The desire to care less about things, an ache to let things go
Lilo (noun): A friendship that can lie dormant for years only to pick right back up instantly, as if no time had passed since you last saw each other
Mitzpah (Hebrew) The deep emotional bond between people, especially those separated by distance or death
Monachopsis (noun): The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place
Nodus Tollens (noun): The realisation that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore
Onism (noun): The frustration of being stuck in just one body, that inhabits only one place at a time
Paraprosexia (noun): The inability to pay attention to any one thing (a state of constant distraction)
Pâro (noun): The feeling that no matter what you do, is always somehow wrong
Ringlorn (adjective): The wish that the modern world felt as epic as the one depicted in old stories and folktales
Saudade (Portuguese): The love that remains. A nostalgic longing to be near again to something or someone that is distant, or that has been loved and then lost
Sonder (noun): The realisation of the richness of other people’s lives
Trumspringa (noun): The temptation to step off your career track
Vilomah (Sanskrit): Against the natural order (as in, our children should not precede us in death)
The Wends (phrase): Frustration that you’re not enjoying an experience as much as you should, even something you’ve worked for years to attain
WYTAI (acronym): “When You Think About It,” and means the sudden realisation of how absurd some aspect of modern life is
Xeno (noun): The smallest measurable unit of human connection, typically exchanged between passing strangers
Yearn (verb): Have an intense feeling of longing for something, typically something that one has lost or been separated from
YOLO (acronym) – “You Only Live Once”
Zenosyne (noun): The fear that time is speeding up
N.B. These are a collection of words I’ve stumbled upon and have been noting down over time, but today, I’ve realised that the vast majority of them (and many more) can be found here in the ‘dictionary of obscure sorrows’ – all very fitting.
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