Believe (verb): Accept that something is true, especially without proof
I woke up today, with a word in my head:
I have a difficult relationship with HOPE, which I’ve blogged about previously.
After three pregnancy losses, I just don’t TRUST my body.
I have exhausted all PATIENCE.
When it comes to fertility, I struggle to be POSITIVE.
I’m not a naturally CALM person.
Lord knows, I detest the “GOOD VIBES ONLY” mantra.
I definitely don’t want to DREAM or IMAGINE anything too specific – been there, done that, lost the baby.
As my FAITH in this journey continually waivers.
And I’m not sure how much more TIME I can spend on gosh-darn self NURTURE (just becoming a hipster-w@nker here!)
It feels out of my control to CREATE the FUTURE I want.
Believe, I feel I can work with.
Whenever I’m feeling worried, anxious, impatient or any of the million difficult emotions, I am going to try to channel “believe”. To just sit with that word. I already kinda love it. To me, it’s quite magical, but hashtag, no pressure.
- I believe things won’t always be sad
- I believe that some good things are coming
- I believe there is still time
- I believe I am moving forward
- I believe in my potential to be a mum
Although lots of the capitalised words don’t work for me, perhaps they resonate or would work for you? I would love to know.
Wherever you are in all of this, we all needs words of affirmation to cling to, when times get tough. Life after loss, is not easy. Heck, life isn’t. So I hope you find something to carry you through. Wishing you all a GENTLE weekend.
P.S. BREATHE is another word I’ve brainstormed which I think I could work with, but knowing me, I fear it’ll annoy me pretty quickly: I mean when did breathing ever help my fertility journey?! I’ve been doing it my whole entire life, after all.
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